Just before noon on a December Saturday, A Bathing Ape logo beams from the scoreboard,over a not-classic match up in Arlington, Texas, between the Texas Christian University Horned Frogs and the Kansas State Wildcats. The Big12 conference is in jeopardy, with University of Texas and University of Oklahoma, its two most money-making programs, set to … Continue reading
Author Archives: jessemillergordon
The Haunting of College Band, Arizona
He’d pissed his pants tracking guitar parts by day two. Day three he threw up for a couple hours then got two songs down before he got the shakes, did a third before he was too drunk to record a fourth. He’d written all the songs, most of the lyrics too. Continue reading
Looking Stupid Holiday Guide 2020 *Bonus Edition*
Leopard Shark (medium) I forgot the sharks. They were literally the first thing that came to mind when I thought about the perfect holiday item for that special someone, and then they fell off the back of the truck. I thought that just because Great White Sharks basically always die in captivity wouldn’t stop someone … Continue reading
Looking Stupid Holiday Gift Guide 2020
A Gun (no link, do your own research) Listen man, I’m not here to tell you how to live your life. It’s a guide not an instruction manual. I’ve never even shot a gun. The last time I held one M***** H*** had put it in my hands next to his van outside the … Continue reading
Sport and Sanity 2020
It has become increasingly evident that a depressed athlete is about as productive as a physically injured athlete. Psychic scarring in an ever changing world with high stakes demands and a bottomless pit of choice after a lifetime of discipline must feel like waking up a house of mirrors every morning. To enter into a … Continue reading
Hangover Forever #2
Assorted bar stories and assertions I don’t back up
Continue reading
Baby Yoda at the Chateau
Baby Yoda reaches for their second consecutive American Spirit, lighting it thoughtfully and holding in the first drag, just so. Their long ears relax to the sides of their wide head, their large watery dark eyes closed for a pregnant pause. “I mean, I’ll do the coo, if it’s legitimately for a kid, or it’s … Continue reading
Sound & Fury Merch Report, 2008
I am wearing the Skarhead shirt I bought off Sammy the Mick (RIP) for $5 during the Trapped Under Ice set at the third Sound and Fury festival, the first at the Earl Warren Fairgrounds near Santa Barbara. The moment I arrived, I handed off the keys to my ‘95 Volvo 850 (crimson) to Paul … Continue reading
Three Barbour Jackets in 12 Years
Children are the sort of ingrates that need to be tricked into nourishment. My parents, lovers of the arts who didn’t decide to have a kid until their very late 30’s, knew this to be a truth. Just a few years ago I convinced my Mom, both of us still grieving a freshly dead father/husband, … Continue reading
Nobody Headlines the Danville Grange
The Danville Grange hall is located on Diablo Rd. in Danville, California. It’s a big municipal space next to a creek, with a three foot stage, and built in seats lining either side of the hall. I think you rent your own PA, or you rent it from them. During the week the venue hosts … Continue reading