What I’m Here For Bartending is legal drug dealing. 88 thousand people die from alcohol related deaths every year in the U.S. alone. Still, it’s a legal and socially enforced part of adulthood that spans humanity. There’s the customer, a physical divider, the bartender (hello) and then finally, the product. If the product isn’t served … Continue reading
Author Archives: jessemillergordon
The 10 Point Plan For a New You™
Predictions for the coming year are myriad. As always, humanity stares out at the vast landscape of the future, wondering what comes next, in fear, or in wonder. Continue reading
Financial Report 1.13.2017
The dinosaur skeleton resides in the foyer. A long necked herbivore like a brachiosaurus doesn’t seem practical, and a T-Rex is gauche. I’ve settled on a triceratops, because they’re as emblematic as something like a Stegosaurus, but majestic, instead of ugly. You do want a dinosaur people can name off hand, otherwise you’ll spend half … Continue reading
Some T Shirts: Volume 1
I Own Some T Shirts. Other people own more of them, rare ones that I don’t have, duplicates, fleshed out collections, but I like what I have. The most complete collections of ephemera I see are from my contemporaries that don’t drink, smoke, or do drugs. I didn’t realize how much of a crazy financial … Continue reading
White Girls Get in the Van
As depressingly comfortable as I am with the text inside Get In The Van, I had no interest in reading it when it was lent to me 15 years ago. I was the sort of high school sophomore who was so hell bent on remaining friendless that it wasn’t enough to someone to be the one other kid in a Black Flag shirt in a teeming mass of 3,000 adolescents. Continue reading
Ponyboy Died in the Fire
Early in the morning this past July 4, 2015, an electrical fire in Los Angeles, California took the life of Sammy Ewing. He rescued all four of his roommates from the burning building before he lost his life.
On Foamposites and Futurism
The controlled valuation of art through dealers and auction houses is not so different than Nike creating endless differing limited runs of Foamposites.
The Code Word Is Elephant Pt. 2
I’ve been a tour manager exactly once, and I liked it. You wake up 30 minutes to an hour before the act, be sober enough to drive, make it to soundcheck, get the house lights proper, get the stuff, sell the merch, get the payout.
The Code Word Is Elephant Pt. 1
Austin has a little over 900,000 residents as of 2014. During the music portion of the SXSW conference, that number spikes dramatically.