Photo by Jesse Miller-Gordon

Looking Stupid: Hey Cole, it’s Jesse from Looking Stupid, is now cool? Fine to push if not

Cole Haden: Yes now is great

Just got back in the car

LS: Excellent, how’s the death drive today, how was lunch, god help me, what time was van call

CH: Van call wasn’t too bad – we’re not playing tonight but I fear it’ll be a straight to bed situation once we get to Sacramento

We started in Blythe

LS: A rocking town on a tuesday, let me assure you (honestly a fun cutty city)

CH: Lunch was Sweetgreen, I asked for extra salmon

Got any massage recs?

LS: Has the protein crazy reached you?

Lemme check on the massage, actually might know someone

CH: I’ve never heard of that!

Is it because of the hormones they pump the fish with?

LS: Craze* pardon me, the protein craze

Starbucks has it in the foam now

CH: Oh I’m so not that guy

I think you can just go kill a deer and then you’ll have a freezer full of venison for a long while

Venison every meal

LS: The deer diet

CH: Something vogue would’ve published in the 50’s

LS: Something goop might’ve published in 2022

CH: Everyone can do what they want

Either way I’m not buying a protein slurpee

LS: i think thats an attitude more people could take about more stuff

CH: There’s ofc the evil side of that coin

But in this context I stand behind what I said

LS: Oh yeah I was reading that back being like “well…not always”

CH: lol

LS: How have the shows been on this run so far? How has the experience of touring Pirouette been different from DogsBody

To go a little further; Does what you want out of the record change from the initial writing process, through recording and touring it?

CH: These shows have been fun – hitting spots we’ve never been before…. Played our biggest show in Austin thus far – the longer we exist the more people come to the shows knowing the material and so that gives me a lot of stuff to respond to on stage

My mic cut out during Crossing Guard in Austin, but I stopped rushing to fix it once the crowd picked up the slack and sang the second chorus for me

Which was sweet

Pirouette is a much gayer album too compared to Dogsbody, so I have more fun seeing all the new people in the room since its release

LS: I was going to ask if there was more dancing, I know you set out to make a brighter sounding record

CH: I’m not sure if my artistic objective changes alone – but I definitely learn new ways that the work can be perceived which I enjoy…. Touring this album has allowed the shows to capture our joie de vivre a bit more playing the new songs alongside the old ones

There is more dancing

The gays love to dance

The gays NEED to dance even

I totally forgot I meant to help someone with a proposal in Austin FUCK

LS: Now when you say proposal, do you mean like a pit proposal, or are you writing grants

CH: Marital!

Down on one knee!!

LS: Those have been popping up more and more huh

CH: It wouldn’t be the first time I’ve made it happen

LS: oh?

CH: At the Echo in 2023

Things are slipping through the cracks

And it’s my bad

LS: How so?

CH: If anyone wants to get married at our show they’ll have to go through management lol

LS: Is there more of a physical toll show to show, going in between the harder material and performing more dance music?

CH: There is a bigger toll on my voice…. I’m stepping more into my idea of the diva that lives inside me… and she sings way more than I did previously

These hellish drive days are honestly nice so I can recover from that past string of shows

LS: Has your more formal vocal training been an aid at all? Beyond rest and gargling salt water

CH: Yes yes, correct placement and breathing is a must

But still – because it’s a loud and energetic show I tend to get the zoomies and push it a little too far sometimes haha

LS: Well you’re performing for the people in front of you, not whoever’s coming tomorrow

CH: I’ve never heard it put that way but I fuck with that

LS: Oh, the massage spot in Sac! “Mia Moore is so great. And her acupuncture/massage practice is called PMA” says my friend Kevin

CH: YES

I love getting massages in random places

Got one of the best Thai massages ever in Hamburg

LS: I respect everyone who enthusiastically gets massages, and is like, in touch with how they physically feel and doesn’t mind being touched

What made it so good? Did you get the impression that all the spots in Hamburg are dialed in, or this place/person in particular

CH: The decor honestly was amazing lmao, but alao this lady was so good at differentiating which pain felt good and which felt bad

Despite the language barrier

LS: Nonverbal intuition feels very intimate

CH: Also never had a massage where they wash my feet before

A massage can be really emotional for me too

LS: Why’s that?

CH: The whole thing about the body keeping the score

The release of tension reminds me of the things I’ve yet to let go

And a good therapist makes it easy to do that

But it’s hard to know who you’re gonna get when you’re on the road

LS: That’s very real, now my reticence to get massaged makes me wonder if I’m putting off letting go

CH: I’ll try that person your friend sent

Maybe? Maybe not? Maybe you’re holding onto things? Massage is just one aspect of how I process things

Sometimes my body just aches from popping my ass on stage

LS: I have another gifted massage, incidentally, and I’m now waiting until I’m “sore enough”

CH: You’re already sore babe

Cash it in

LS: Your lyrics are intimate, What is it about confessionary writing that makes it so relatable do you think? How do you pull back from giving away parts of yourself you want to keep for yourself when the most vulnerable lyrics connect the hardest with fans of the band?

CH: I think it’s an uncomfortable exercise to write out the thoughts I had tried to ignore, but it’s honestly a more uncomfortable experience to keep them inside…. I think especially with this album, which I wrote about the time I was coming out privately to myself – I realized that I share that experience with most other queer people, but “coming out” is the result of years of internal work and bravery done totally in private

So these confessions I’m making on the album are the first time I’m saying many of these thoughts out loud…. I feel way more connected in a deeper way to my queerness and to other queer people now after letting myself sing about it.

I think confessional writing is relatable though because it’s often about things that feel too delicate to speak about or ask about

I’m just pondering though – does all of this make sense?

LS: You’re making sense, don’t worry about that

I think a lot of hugely private experiences are also hugely commonplace

CH: Yes

That’s the crux of what I mean

LS: And maybe why everyone seems to be short circuiting is the lack of avenues to find the commonality of our private stuff that’s sorta universal?

CH: Are we talking politics now?

LS: I think I just mean people aren’t hanging out/working around each other enough to get what they need to feel less alone and more a part of something bigger than themselves, and it’s making people short circuit in different ways

CH: I was at this after party in Austin and I met this girl who said “I hate small talk” so I responded with “and how’s your relationship with your father?” And not by any means recommending this approach lol but we had a really great convo

It was a risky move

LS: Hahaha thats a fantastic gambit imo

CH: I told her we could talk about something else

But we just went for it

And ya know what? It didn’t dampen the mood one bit!

Still a party

The one thing I’ll say about jumping right it is that we now know very personal things about each other but absolutely nothing about if we like cats or dogs or coffee or tea, which I also appreciate

LS: Is the crowd you want to shoot the shit with the same group you want to go do karaoke with?

CH: Yes

Circling back, karaoke is what absolutely murders my voice on the road

What’s your song?

LS: I’ve never drilled down on one, I was the kind of person that flatly said no, but then I discovered I just didn’t like those private rooms where 6 people yell at each other. There’s a spot in Japan town that’s like in the movies, I do that every once in a while

CH: Oh come on, you have a song in your heart

LS: Well, right after quar I did “That’s Life” forgetting it’s in the Joker and everyone in the place was essentially wondering if I was going to crash out at any moment

CH: That’s perfect

Keep them on their toes

LS: Do you have new karaoke songs you’re working on?

Or are you a one song guy

CH: I stick to my mains

Be Our Guest

And You’re a Mean One Mr. Grinch

LS: See those are pro level songs to me

Berklee, even

CH: In Philadelphia while we were on tour with Peaches I did Memory because there was a live accompanist

LS: Gotta drop in on Martuni’s in SF, they have a pianist

CH: Good shout

LS: I feel the need to pump up Bay Area institutions the way New York has decided to advocate for Bemelmans lol

CH: I don’t know Bemelmans wtf

LS: It’s this upper east side place to get an expensive martini

CH: Oh oh

LS: Woody Allen used to sit in on oboe, maybe he still does

But it has a line at opening now like it’s a Times Square margaritaville

CH: My friend just moved up there so I guess I’ll have an opportunity to drag him there

LS: It’s worth riding the ride at least once

Good wallpaper, maybe even great

CH: I just went to Margaritaville and the service was atrocious

I still tipped ofc just to be clear

The best margarita in NY is at Gordo’s in Bushwick just to shout them out

LS: God bless a good marg. Bartending I’d always just make them without cointreau and that went over well

CH: What is that lolllllll

LS: It’s the orange liqueur thats in a lot of common marg recipes

You guys are playing two nights with Interpol before your two weeks at Coachella, how do you approach shows like these where you’re support but they’re also so big but they also serve this sort of centering/warm up purpose?

CH: We’re warmed up already

It’s just nice that the boys of Interpol invite us to come do our thing, and also that their audience is such that even if they don’t know us they are down to clown around

We’re getting practice with them playing in spaces that are seated

And for all of their children in tow, who could be attending their first concert, I don’t take that responsibility lightly

LS: You guys are such a pleasant surprise to the average Interpol fan who doesn’t get to go to concerts like they used to I feel like

How is the seated aspect? Do you still travel into the crowd, or is it a little different

CH: I didn’t go out when we opened for them at the Beacon Theatre in NY

But also the union guys wouldn’t let me

At the end of the day it is possible to achieve the same feeling in the room whether I go into the crowd or not, but I just like to because it’s fun

And it definitely speeds up the process of everybody loosening up

LS: Do you ever start to venture out and think “hmmm maybe not this group?” Or is that less and less of a thing as the band progresses and has their own people

CH: No that still happens lol

Some people want to be left alone which I respect

Or alternatively they are so amped up I have nothing to add

I try to stay out of the mosh pit

I tend to always go out at least once but that first trip is me sniffing out the vibes for sure

LS: An exploratory mission

I’m imagining you looking out on a rowdy room like “seems like you’ve got this”

CH: That’s exactly it

I also think sometimes a room isn’t necessarily “bad” but I just need to go out and encourage them

LS: Does that change or does the need get upped at festivals?

CH: I prepare myself for all possibilities going down into a festival crowd lol

But it’s never on the first song that I go out so I can kind of tell how rough it’ll be

LS: What are the range of outcomes?

CH: The range goes from being ignored to being smashed

LS: This feels like it could be applied to more things

CH: LMAO

Me at the gay bar also

LS: Also do you have a clear picture of what your stage fits for Coachella will be, is it outside of the regular suitcase?

CH: I will not reveal my Coachella look(s)

But they are packed separately

My friend Caitlin made me an elaborate onion of a costume

LS: Many layers?

CH: Who knows…

💅🏻

This is coming out after Coachella I guess lol

LS: In between weeks

CH: Well I’ll keep my lips sealed

LS: “Our Lips Are Sealed” would be a fun karaoke song